As I sat down to write this, I received a phone call from my neighbor. Her brother-in-law passed away last week from cancer and her 84 year-old mother-in-law just moved in. Ann wanted to brainstorm ideas with me concerning her elderly charge. “She’s tired all the time. I’m feeding her lots of fresh squeezed veggie juices with garlic, and fruit smoothies with fresh cranberries, salads and herbal teas,” she said. “She isn’t used to good food. She just wants sugar and salt added to everything,” she said in a tired exhale.

My neighbor who called was for many years merely an acquaintance because our children are friends. We really became friends about a year ago when she was diagnosed with skin cancer. Ann’s cancer was her wake-up call. The first thing she did was give her house a deep cleaning. That might seem odd to some, but when I saw her doing it, I realized I’d probably do the same thing. Purge and clean. Next, she went off for surgery. Then she came home and cleaned up her diet. Her cancer is gone.

“My mother-in-law is asking for margarine,” Ann said. “I banished margarine from our house when I got cancer. My husband and boys are pressuring me to bring it back.” Ann and I chatted on about the role of nurturer and how difficult it is to eat well when you’re surrounded by people who don’t. We joked about “fighting” the people we love because we want to love them with good food. I suggested she think of it like the advice an airline attendant give out. “Place the oxygen mask over your face first, then attend to anyone else needing assistance.”

I haven’t found easy answers. Keeping up with the latest health and nutrition news is almost impossible. Just when I think I’ve got it figured out, today’s news contradicts yesterday’s. (Remember when margarine was recommended instead of butter?) At various times over the past twenty-five years, I’ve worn the label vegetarian. At some point I ate a vegan diet (no meat or dairy). I’ve lived on raw food only. I’ve read convincing stories about breatharians! I’ve fasted. I’ve thrown out all my food except what I would need for a macrobiotic diet. I’ve cleansed my liver and kidneys and purged parasites. I’ve used super blue green algae and grown my own wheat grass. (I even managed to get my kids to drink it!) I’ve purchased miracle supplements that made perfect sense and a year later I’ve thrown them out.

But, I have gotten healthier. I consider myself extremely healthy and people think of me as healthy. So what I’ve learned is this: all of it works! The desire to eat healthy and be healthy will open more doors than you can imagine. Your desire itself will be your cure and no one has your blueprint. What awaits you is uniquely yours, just like your fingerprint. We all need food for life but none of us are at the same place at the same time. We grow and learn just like my staggered plantings of lettuce. I’ve learned to accept this. Being a food snob has cut me off from other people. Thinking my diet was right was the worst kind of religion.

So, go easy. Eat for fun. Avoid rigidity and stay curious. Be there to help when someone asks. Keep your eyes open for your next mentor and be a patient example when you dispense the diet changes that helped you.