MaryJanesFarm | Simply MJ

January 20, 2004

Boys Who Crochet

In a home for troubled kids, a teenage boy named Tom cries out in the middle of an outburst of uncontrolled anger, “Patsy, tell them how good I am when I’m crocheting.”

Patsy, the Teacher Assistant, asks to have some time alone with Tom. She gives him his crochet hook and lap quilt. Tom crochets for two full hours without stopping. Then he is calm.

At the Northwest Children’s Home in Lewiston, Idaho, scenes like this, where troubled boys find healing through crochet, are an every-day occurrence.

These are not kids who are at-risk because they stayed out too late a few times. They are boys who have suffered abuse in their families so intense it drew the attention of the Child Protection Agency. Many are former drug addicts. These are kids filled with unmanageable anger and anxiety. After their families failed them, after foster care failed them, after being referred by a court order or a service agency, the Northwest Children’s Home welcomed them.

Needlework for anyone is strong medicine, but for these young men, it rescues and rebuilds their very core.

On a typical Friday in a NW Children’s Home classroom, ten boys calmly crochet together in silence. They are focused on their hands, which move in a steady rhythm as they loop and pull, loop and pull.

Several boys are wearing knitted slippers they made in class. In addition, the boys have filled a box with lap quilts they plan on donating to a local retirement home. There are purple ones, pale green, gray mixed with tan and purple, and pure white.

Each boy had chosen the colors for his quilt from a box of donated yarns. One boy chose to make a lap quilt in three stripes that match the Mexican flag. Another boy, with his head shaved except for a ring of hair at the top, chose soft hues for his first quilt — pale yellow, pink, white and pale blue. His next quilt will be pure white like those given to infants at christenings.

The boys learn patience. They trade stories about unraveling row after row of knotted yarn because things weren’t right. One boy proudly states he had to rip his slippers out five times before he finally got it right.

“When I’m crocheting, I’m not in trouble.”

“It helps keep me under control.”

“It helps me think about what I’m doing, forcing me to calm down and get control of my anger.”

Another boy speaks in very fast, clipped sentences that tumble one onto the other. “I don’t worry about stuff when I crochet … I don’t worry about my Grandma … My Grandma died — which happened … My Dad is upset … I didn’t know my Grandma … I felt bad for my Dad … I don’t worry about my Dad when I crochet.”

Initially, the boys resisted crochet.

Sam, a boy who wears a sweatshirt with flames on the sleeves, had vowed, “I’m not learning to crochet. Do you think I’m a girl?”

Another had said, “Crocheting is stupid. It’s for Geeks.”

But now, these boys know their crochet. One boy demonstrates for me the difference between a single crochet, a double crochet and a shell.

As the boys file out for lunch, Patsy mentions that crocheting helps with cravings. Keeping their hands busy has helped some boys work through cravings for drugs or alcohol. She said the boys who have addiction problems are often the ones who take to crocheting the quickest.

She believes that crocheting has helped the boys with their anger because it is a calming motion, like rocking a baby or rocking in a chair. It has also been helpful for boys with anxiety problems. Some are so anxious their hands shake constantly. When they crochet, their hands don’t shake.

Patsy has also taught the boys how to sew on buttons and mend clothes. They’ve learned cake decorating and decorate a cake for each boy that leaves. They’ve also done cooking projects and learned how to do their own laundry.

These boys want to heal. With crocheting, everyday counseling and lots of love from the staff, these boys have a chance to rebuild their lives, one stitch at a time.

These boys could use more yarn. If you have leftover yarn, the boys would appreciate receiving it at Northwest Children’s Home, P.O. Box 1288, Lewiston, Idaho 83501. For more information about crocheting as a tool for healing, contact Patsy Gottschalk, (208) 746-1601 ext. 232. (Please note the boys’ names have been changed to protect their privacy.)

Send your questions to MaryJane Butters, c/o MaryJanesFarm, 1000 Wild Iris Lane, Moscow, Idaho, 83843. Questions may also be e-mailed to maryjane@maryjanesfarm.org. Please include your name and daytime telephone number. For more information, visit www.maryjanesfarm.org


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